He called out to her one last time. He called out to her one last time as if bailing a boat while drowning faster than he could bail. He was drowning faster, in fact, than he could write the word drowning. But who was this mysterious “her” to not reciprocate when he was obviously trying to make a connection?

He started his correspondence with “Hiya”—not the best salutation for making good first impressions, retrospectively, but nevertheless, why does she not respond? Is he really that invisible? Is he no better than SPAM to her?

On top of it, or to start it off, why did she not accept his friend request on Facebook? Why did she not accept his invitation request for LinkedIn? He Yelped for her. He Yelped for her like a seal slowly choking on his own 3-star excrement. And yet nothing. How is that possible?

He liked her. She should like him. I scratch your back; you scratch mine. You get it? Quid pro quo. That’s how it works. How could she not appreciate that? How could she not recognize and appreciate, most importantly, the impressiveness (some have suggested “domination”) of his online presence?

Is she possibly that technologically inept? And if so, it makes him wonder why he should be caring about her in the first place. If she does not know the basics about hashtags, for one small instance, and how to re-tweet when he tweets to her, how good really, again, is she to him?